weekvlog #18 Taking a new road – New Years Party

Wauw! A lot of uncertainty in my life at the moment… I have no idea what this year will bring for me. The only thing I can do is to only live in the moment and enjoy the ride. For some reason I feel so much Trust and Faith.

I believe that life has a plan so I don’t have control. So whatever will happen, will be the thing that is meant to be. Life is so amazing when you connect with source and let’s see what life will give. My feeling is what is guiding me. I live from inside out. Everyone has challenges in their life, but those challenges make you stronger.

I am so grateful that I organise the Ayahuasca Ceremonies and to guide people in their journey. Wauw! Life can give you unexpected miracles when you open up yourself.

When you let go of your control. You will come to your essence and life will run through you… as if things are going automatically and you feel like Alice in Wonderland. All you have to let go of our willingness to have control. This is exactly where the freedom is. The better you can live with uncertainty, the more free you are.

Don’t think about how life should be, but take it as it is. This is your freedom. To live in the moment and experience. Be in acceptance. Life is perfect and you are never alone.

Ask yourself: ‘Am I in fear of scarcity sometimes?’ I guess we all have our fears.. Remember then: If you believe in a higher power; where you call it ‘The Universe’, ‘God’, ‘The Field’ or something without a name.. You know that life takes care of you. Then you know that life gives you exactly what you need. So have faith!

Duality of my Santo Daime Experience

Then I would like to share my experience with Santo Daime. I am really so grateful for my experience with Santo Daime. Especially in Brazil, but in The Netherlands too. My first ceremony was with the Santo Daime that was Life Changing!! I do have a lot of respect for what they do… I have been hesitation about sharing also another side that I experienced with Santo Daime.

After my initiation in Brazil my experience changed. The moment I became part of the Santo Daime Community (Fadada) I had to live very strict by their rules that I don’t even know. Before my initiation they told me that all the change would come natural. But my experience is very different!!! They brought the rules that I had to follow with so much anger!! I was shocked and confused. It even scared me. I received text messages that my whole life would be destroyed and God will send me the bill. This reminded me of religion and I never liked to live from rules from outside. Again: I live from inside out.

It was not realistic that I would follow this path… But it was also very confusing. I can almost say that I know how it feels to be trapped in a cult of a sect. My feeling was/is like that. Even while I also experience different sides with so much love and care.

Living from the inside out

It became very clear to me… I can not live from rules from other. I am always a free soul. And my inner World is telling something completely different than what the people from the Santo Daime told me. I am very beautiful and powerful from inside and that is what I trust.

I thought I found everything… And now I see that the picture was very different than the reality. I can believe that all these rules are there for a reason.. But it’s not for me. And for sure not the way they communicated to me! That’s for sure!

In the end I am grateful for the experience. I have learned so much!! I feel like I want to take a break.. To make a new start. I don’t know where life is taking me.. I trust my inner guidance. Let’s see what is going on next week.

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Author Blog – Maria Johanna

My name is Maria Johanna from The Netherlands (Amsterdam) and I can help you in your personal growth and your spiritual awakening. I started this journey by publishing my (Dutch) book ‘Quarterlife Challenge – Know what you want in 20 days’. With led to many other things. I would love to inspire you and help you in different ways such as; writing, giving lectures, workshops, meditations. My main focus is at arranging Retreats and Ayahuasca Ceremonies.

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1 antwoord
  1. Paul
    Paul zegt:

    Dear Maria
    Ive just watched your vlog and I feel the difficulty and excitement you are experiencing to a degree. I would imagine you get a lot of people offering support or guidance so I will try and keep it brief. You may remember I’m the kiwi guy wanting to try an ayahuasca experience. I wont give you a long story here of what I have done and are going through but I have felt the difficulty of joining a group who wants to put controls on you, It was with a cult I guess but that was a few a few years ago. But freedom yes! Inner freedom is very important to me and allowing myself to be guided by my intuition and deeper self. Thats why I feel Ayahuasca will help with my next steps on my path, I so want to help and be myself to the fullest, live myself to the fullest!

    I feel the Peru retreat would be best for me and hopefully the right timing (I’ll make the right timing this time!). The world feels a bit mad at the moment and I wonder what my purpose in it is. BUT I wont give too much now but if you ever want to experience a bit of New Zealand and what a truly wonderful place it is I would love to be your host or guide something like that anyhow. Many people find something they are looking for there.

    I’m not good on daily connections and I’m sure yours are uplifting and beautiful but will try and connect when I can wih your vloging, you are very good at it.

    Lastly, and I know don’t need my advice but when you said you would let many people down if you took off for a while, and I’m sure you would, but just what would come from it that could help maybe those people and many many more from what you would get from this, it cannot be seen now but would be seen greatly. This I’m sure you know this on one level.

    Many blessings and much Metta.


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