Weekvlog#20 Saying goodbye to my Biggest Love
OMG! This has been the most emotional week of my life where I was saying goodbye to my biggest love. Something can feel really good and still sometimes it’s meant to say goodbye. It’s still painful and very double.
I started my week with a great sunrise that is giving me new inspiration and energy. When you are in nature everything is good and in peace. That’s why it’s good to spend time in nature to be in peace. When you are in peace there is space for everything.
I was just realising that I have been working so hard this year. When you work with Ayahuasca it asks more than 100%. It’s a big responsibly. I was asking myself: ‘When is my weekend’? I am always working and helping other people. If it’s not in a ceremony, it’s before or after the ceremony. It’s good to create more space for myself.
When you say goodbye you have to deal with rejection. Nobody likes to reject another. On our way to the Ayahuasca ceremony, Yaëla Voet and I were talking about rejection. Sometimes it’s your job to reject another and it’s up to the other person how much he/she will suffer from this rejection. We are not only here to bring light situations. Sometimes you are here to reject someone. Because only truth counts.
Another insight that I had is that promises are creating guilt. Actually promises don’t exist. It’s something we human being made up. We love to have certainty about the future, but this is just an illusion. Never make a promise to someone or never ask someone to make a promise. With a promise you create guilt, because this person feels like he/she has to keep his/her word. If this is not possible any more or it doesn’t feel good anymore this person will feel guilt by breaking his/her promise. Nobody wants to feel guilty.
I had to cry while watching this video back. I always see the best in people and I easily trust everyone. This year and especially this period I had to learn that this is an illusion too. It’s hard to realise that you can only count on yourself.
I have to cut so many things out of my life. It’s all about letting go. It’s the right thing to do even when it’s painful.
Imagine to have a love relationship, a family with children, a nice house, everything in order and somehow you have to say goodbye, because life is telling you. You cannot understand why. But you are very sure that this is the right thing to do. Why? I guess time will tel.
Or: How it is to have a family and then your partner is cheating on you? You are still in love and you have a beautiful relationship. But it hurts and you feel like you have to say goodbye. I know how it feels. This are things that we experience in life as a soul. Somehow we need to experience this. It’s sad, but somehow it had to happen.
It’s sad. Ayahuasca is my biggest love. She gave me everything. I have been joking: ‘I am married with Mother Ayahuasca. I am already taken.’ Now I have some kind of divorce. Maybe this break creates space for a real love in my life. Maybe it will happen?
Above all, the Number #1 love is me! I take this break out of self love. What will this break do to me? I look forward to just be in my house, cycle through Amsterdam, visit cafes without having any duties. I love life. I love the adventure. The unknown. In life you never know what’s behind the corner.
And because you never know: please enjoy every moment of it. That is what life is about: to enjoy!
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Author Blog – Maria Johanna
My name is Maria Johanna from The Netherlands (Amsterdam) and I can help you in your personal growth and your spiritual awakening. I started this journey by publishing my (Dutch) book ‘Quarterlife Challenge – Know what you want in 20 days’. With led to many other things. I would love to inspire you and help you in different ways such as; writing, giving lectures, workshops, meditations. My main focus is at arranging Retreats and Ayahuasca Ceremonies.
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Terugblik 2020 – Vooruitzicht 2021
Wauw! Terugblikken op 2020. Het voelt alsof dit jaar vele hoofdstukken heeft gekend. In ieder geval 2 hele duidelijk. Dat is een hoofdstuk voor de Covid en een hoofdstuk terwijl de Covid crisis gaande is. Wat heeft dit voor mij gebracht? Hoe heb ik dit ervaren?
Vlog#56 Moving back to Bali
Do you realise: One decision can shape your future.. ! I like to share a little bit of my journey…
Dit raakt me diep lieve Maria, de liefde en pijn straalt er zo ontzettend vanaf. Super heftig dat iemand je vertrouwen heeft geschaad en je genoodzaakt bent om ermee te stoppen. Regels en angst zijn klote inderdaad waar liefde en vrijheid mag/moet zijn. Voel toch dat het allemaal niet voor niets is, toeval bestaat niet en wij weten allemaal erg weinig over het waarom enz. dus geniet van de nieuwe energie/passies die ontstaan door de leegte die je nu voelt. Zoals je zei ben je een topper in loslaten en ik ben ervan overtuigd dat als je in jouw hoge vibratie/frequentie blijft er nog veel mooiere, ondenkbare, onvoorspelbare dingen en ervaringen op je pad komen. Het leven van jou gaat ook in zo’n sneltrein en wie snel groeit en steeds meer ‘licht’ wordt komt ook steeds heftigere donkere/schaduwen tegen omdat je jezelf er dan pas tegen kan wapenen cq. ermee omgaan. Wens je veel dankbaarheid, geluk, puur zijn, plezier, creativiteit en liefde want je bent echt een super bijzondere authentieke engel. Je kwam vannacht zelfs voor het eerst voor in een droom vandaar dit bericht. I send you power and love, go sweet warrior, I believe you are here on earth for real big things to experience and helping to expand the consciousness of many people by be an example and shine your light! Much love and thanks for everything, Leon
Go in peace and love. X
Je volgt je hart en gevoel en dat is goed. Verandering is nooit gemakkelijk.
Ik wens je veel s6 met wat je gaat doen.
Liefs Cheryl
Knap……en blijf kiezen voor je mooie jij, nee …… blijf voelen! Zoals je ook eens tegen mij zei: het moet goed voelen…… Dus blijf voelen, voelen en voelen…… Zelfs als het goed voelt…..
Heel veel mooie nieuwe dingen gewenst op je pad…….
Liefs Ann
Volgens mij is deze reactie dubbel op mijn website gekomen. Dank je wel lieve Ann. Blijf ik zeker doen!! <3 Veel liefs en een dikke knuffel voor jou <3
Knap……en blijf kiezen voor je mooie jij, nee …… blijf voelen! Zoals je ook eens tegen mij zei: het moet goed voelen…… Dus blijf voelen, voelen en voelen…… Zelfs als het goed voelt…..
Heel veel mooie nieuwe dingen gewenst op je pad…….
Liefs Ann
Oooh, leuk om jouw reactie te lezen!! Zeker weten.. Het moet goed voelen. Inmiddels zijn we iets verder en is het nieuwe pad aan et ontvouwen… Wat een avontuur dit leven! Dat herken je vast? hahaha! Veel liefs en een dikke knuffel <3
Succes
Dank je wel! 🙂
Dank je!! 🙂